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Dear: Justine
I recently reconnected with my ex-boyfriend. We had been seeing each other for about eight months He has a girlfriend that lives with him and I have been divorced for a year. We had been spending and texting so much time with each other texting until we got so caught up in the moment that he forgot about home. Recently he stopped spending time with me. Now I'm finding it so hard to get him out of my head. We also have a daughter together that he hasn't told his family or girlfriend about, so I emailed him and asked him what's going on and why was he avoiding me he told me because he was stuck in between a rock and a hard place because he has feelings for the both of us.
Would I be wrong to tell his girlfriend everything that's been going on and that we share a daughter together?
Signed Lost and Confused
Dear Lost and Confused,
I would not say that you were lost and confused but I would say hurt and in denial is a better descriptive.
It is always amazing to me when folks reconnect with ex’s, they selectively forget why that person is an ex. There was something in that relationship that was not working and that’s the reason it ended.
I bet cheating and lying might have been the reason you got a divorce. So, let’s really have some cut to the chase honesty…You are still very wounded from a failed marriage and caught up again in a failed relationship that resulted in a birth of a child. You are asking me “Would you be wrong to tell his girlfriend…?” Why would you do that …to hurt her and get back at him for hurting you again!”
Your anger should not be focused at her but at yourself. First, for not protecting your self sexually and secondly for not allowing yourself time to heal from a broken marriage.
I am not beating up on you but loving you strongly and with guidance. I don’t want you to keep getting hurt and never bring closure to a relationship that is not healthy for you.
This man has no intentions of telling the woman he is living with about you and his baby. He chose her and he ain’t gonna mess up his good thing!!
Butt sisterfriend, out of all negative feelings you are having what a great lesson has been learned if you choose to accept it.
Lesson: Love yourself, take time for yourself, allow the father of your child to be loving and supportive of the child , and sit still and be patient.
Always remember if no one told you they love you today I do.
Always, Justine |
