|
Justine,
I'm a single mother raising a son and the other morning I looked at my son’s cell phone and he was texting guys I asked him about it and he said that he was calling a chat line that I previously told him not to call and that he was bi-curious. My son is 16. He said that he was more attracted to females and he saw 2 guys kissing in school and it looked disgusting to him.
I feel terrible because I don't want my son to end up having sex with a male if he hasn't already. I explained to him this is not what God intended and also spoke to him about having safe sex. He says he is still a virgin and that him calling the chat line was because he was bored and would talk about every day things but also that he was bi-curious.
I explained to him by him being bi-curious and talking to guys he is entertaining the thought. Family and friends said to leave him alone because the more I continue to ask him about it that it will push him in the direction of actually doing it.
I wake up at night because it's bothering me that bad. Where did I go wrong? Is it because his father is not in the home? He said he was attracted to males that look like girls and I asked him why you would want an imitation of a female when you can have the real thing. My question to you is should I continue to question him and monitor his calls or leave him alone like others say and pray that this is just a phase? Bi-sexual teens seem to be an in thing in school these days what is happening to the children?
Worried Parent
Dear Worried Parent,
First, let me say thank you for having to courage to send this email. You are one of many parents that might be struggling with how to be a better parent, how to talk to your child about sexuality issues, and feel lost.
You are on the right track and be blessed that he is having dialogue with you. Adolescents are curious about sex, feelings about love and relationships, and they need our guidance and support.
Please be mindful that the advice you give is to be open and engaging, not critical. I am sure he heard your message. I do want you to remember what it was like when your parents lectured you.
There is a great organization that provides support to parents who are struggling with the sexual orientation of their children. The organization is PFLAG (Parents, Families. and Friends Lesbians and Gays).
Understand that I don't want you to question yourself and your parenting. You are a great parent and parenting a teenager is rough. Our children are exposed to so many outside influences but I have found that our values come through loud and clear. You know how they drive us crazy at home but when you are out and you might meet someone who has met your child and they say he’s a wonderful young man. That is a tribute to your parenting skills.
Keep in mind that children do not come with a manual....we wish the did but they didn't and it is trial and error for not just you but for all of us.
Keep the lines of communication open but reinforce the importance of being safe on the Internet and when he does become sexually active that he is well informed about STI's (sexually transmitted infections), HIV, birth control, abstinence and healthy relationships.
Remember if no one told you that they love you today I do
Always, Justine
|
