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Dear Justine,
My boyfriend and I are thinking about living together. We both have good paying jobs and good credit. My concern is I have heard horror stories about couples who decided to live together. I don’t want that to happen to us. We are both clear thinkers and like having things planned out. My question to you is…. I would like a suggested list of what we should address so there is no miscommunication between us
Signed, Wanna to get it straight
Dear Wanna get it straight
Thank you, thank you for asking that question. I wish that folks would take a personal inventory of what their expectations are of what a living agreement should be. So, Here we go:
- What do you want the end result to be (marriage)?
- Who pays the bills?
- Do we have a joint account for bills?
- Do we split the bills (gas, electric, food, cable, telephone)
- Who’s responsible for the household chores (inside and outside)?
- Visitors (family and friends)
- If something catastrophic happens (like a car accident or death) will I be included in the decisions about home, monies and personal belongings?
- Do you want children?
- Do you want pets?
- Do we file taxes together or do I get to keep my return, or do we combine our separate returns?
- How I address you in public? (My boyfriend//girlfriend, my fiancé or my significant other?)
- Confidentiality about our relationship?
These are just a few to start with but you both need to write them down for yourself and present them to each other. Many relationships end because the parties do not talk to each other and they assume the other knows the answer. Please be prepared if you do not agree on many things. Remember compromise is everything but reality of the facts when presented tells a true story.
Good Luck…
Remember if no one told you they love you today I do,
Always, Justine |
