Dear Justine, 

I recently cheated on my boyfriend of 4 years about 3 months ago and he found out. I met my boyfriend of 4 years when I was 16 he was 26.  I went away to school for 6 months and when I came back all the females he was with he said he cut them back to be in a relationship with me. I thought it was cute that he had done that for me. We moved in together and we recently moved into a bigger place. Neither one of us has kids but we got a two bed room duplex for his brother to move in. I met a new friend that was 17 I had a relationship with him on the side. My boyfriend is mad about the relationship and now every night since he found out he reminds me. Please Justine tell me what to do.

  Need help

Dear Need Help,

You certainly do!

I want to do some math calculations. You are now twenty (20) and your boyfriend is now thirty (30).  If your parents had found that that you were dealing with a 26 years old man he would have been under the jail.  That relationship could have been considered a crime and he would have been in jail if you parents had pressed charges against him.

Fortunately those same charges apply to women…. and that you.  The seventeen (17) years old is a minor and you are the adult now. How could you possibly have in common?  Why are you in this relationship?  I am so concerned that this relationship is going to rob you of your youthful and developmental years of being a strong and beautiful woman.

I need you to do a personal inventory of what good qualities this relationship brings out of you. Ask yourself if this relationship makes you feel nurtured, loved and special.   If you answered "no" to the questions, you know the answer and you've got to honor yourself and move on.

Sister friend, life is such a special treasure map with diamonds and gold to be discovered in each turn. Enjoy, live and respect the power of you.

Celebrate you!!  Remember that if one told you they love you today I do

 Always,
Justine