Dear Justine,
You recently attended my school. . I never got to talk to you due to time. But I would just like to thank you for all the good advice you have given in the past. I have had a hard past. I am currently 5 1/2 mos. pregnant now. My boy friend and I have been together for 3years. My question to you is how do I ask my boy friend to get a job and start a career? He realizes that he has a baby on the way, it just seems to me that he is not doing any thing for himself. But I always comfort him and tell him it’s ok and we will work something out.
Dear Becky,
First, I hope you are in prenatal care because we need you to have a healthy, happy baby. Unfortunately, some girls believe that having a baby will keep the father around forever. In fact, so do some adult women! Sorry ladies, that’s not always the case.
Becky, this is a life changing event you are embarking on. I have to be honest and straight up with you. This is not a game. You will be giving birth to a real person not a doll baby. Your baby is going to need both of his or her parents. The fact is your boyfriend is a child just like you. When children get scared they do one of two things - rebel, run or both. He’s scared Becky. He is in high school. His parents provide him with food, clothes and shelter. Now suddenly he has to man up! The two of you have participated in very adult behavior. As a result, in just a few short months you will both be parents. You can not make him be responsible. That is his parents’ responsibility.
I want you to reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally understand something. This could be journey you and family will be doing alone. I need you to finish school and go to college. YOU CAN DO IT!! Will it be hard? Yes, giving birth is a life and death experience and raising a child is even harder. With that being said, please do not let your child’s father off the hook. So often I hear young moms say “My baby doesn’t need you”! Becky, they do need their father. All children want to know where they came from and facts about their family …especially if one of the parents is absent.
Get his social security number (you’ll need that for child support), give that baby his last name, place the name on the birth certificate and encourage him to be there for the birth. If he doesn’t show up that’s on him.
Good luck, Becky and remember that there are many resources out for you! Be empowered young parent and hopefully he will get it together!
Remember if no one told you they loved you today, I do.
Always, Justine |
